The fact of living as a naturist within our home isn't always as easy as some might guess. Whilst we do appreciate that a majority of people living in the UK and certainly immediately around us, are textiles (clothed people) we also ask for our independent choice of our own lifestyle. The majority of our neighbours and friends do accept us nude in our home and we totally accept that some find that difficult to do. We have always maintained that if any of our visitors, friends or family, bring along young children (under 10) they should speak to us first & we will put clothes on if they prefer that. Otherwise we insist on "Accept what you see us as, or leave" motto for our home life. Until last week things have worked out well and usually everyone is happy. On one afternoon we had a phone call from a person we had not seen or heard from for about 1 year. In the phone call we accepted that they could call around to see us in about an hour, I purposely reminded her that we live naked mostly and would most likely be nude all day that day. We were given no indication that this would be a problem.
At around 3:30pm our friend arrived with her new husband & a 15 year old girl, (it seems she is the daughter of the new husband). The conversations started quite well and we made drinks for everyone, the young girl looked really awkward and uneasy as I gave her a glass of fruit juice. I asked her what was making her feel uncomfortable, she answered candidly "Seeing an old couple naked isn't nice at all, I really don't like looking at a droopy old willy when I'm given a drink!" The awkward silence lasted only seconds when my wife said, "We did remind Sarah in our phone conversation of our naturist lifestyle and she accepted that"
To our amazement the new husband jumped up, grabbed his daughters arm and took her outside saying "We do not accept your weird ways, we think you are disgusting." Sarah sat and cried, after a few minutes she got up to leave saying "They both told me it would be fine, they do have a real problem with nudity and I can't apologise for them enough, they ought to have refused to come. I must go now but I'll phone you later"
She left to catch up with her new family. She didn't ring back, we don't know what the outcome was with them at all. We do know that if she rings again it will be a difficult conversation, probably.
24 thoughts on “Visit Of Unpleasantness”
Leave a Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Wow so many issues here. She had been warned, but at 15 I guess nudity and sexuality are all tied up. To be honest I think your visitors should’ve been more open straight away
Perhaps the father overreacted for the sake of his daughter's feelings, as a show of support. Not having been raised in a naturist lifestyle, I would probably have been very uneasy around nude adults. That said, I think the father acted in a rude and unreasonable manner. He should have departed without any harsh remarks.
Correct entirely. Thank you Greg.
Patrick….I see that blog was written over a year ago, have you heard from her since that?
Hi Rusty, I have not seen her or her family since that event. I did find her number on my answerphone about a month later but I didn't reply.
Your friend Sarah attempted to call several weeks <i>after</i> your publication here about that incident at which <i>undoubtedly she</i> became a victim. Is it then proper to not even call her back?
she would have no knowledge of this publication, I doubt anything much has changed within her family unit so why protract the episode, her possible apology call would serve little purpose.
Little even for <i>her</i>? Don't you feel how emotions get triggered and settled, and how important especially the latter is for most of us? She called after a <i>month</i>. And did you not presume a trifle too much?
The adult female guest led her host to believe that her adult male husband was agreeable with
<" that we live naked mostly and would most likely be nude all day that day. We were given no indication that this would be a problem.">
and that the daughter had also accepted that fact.
The young lady was very rude albeit straightforward in her answer belying what was claimed earlier.
The adult male was also rude in his response.
The female guest's final comments leads me to state again that the male guest knew exactly what he was taking his daughter into and knew what his self-righteous response would be.
"They both told me it would be fine, they do have a real problem with nudity and I can't apologise for them enough, they ought to have refused to come. I must go now but I'll phone you later"
He (they) both lied when they told the "wife" they would be fine.
<font color="#8a3">the Considerate</font>
Parents maintain the right or privilege of indoctrinating their children with just about anything. Governments dictating how to raise them could get even worse. The problem is, that parents are also allowed to send children to schools with a limited agenda that all too well suits the parents. Compulsory extra parental education (i.e. at all schools) should include learning to <i>accept the presence</i> of the many very different ideologies and life styles, and to <i>comfortably behave</i> in a civilized manner <i>about</i> and <i>towards</i> their apostles.
<font color="#8a3">as advocate of the <i>angel, archangel, and cramped pacifier</i></font>
From the girl's point of view, Patrick could easily have <i>guessed</i> what made her feel awkward and have seen she was trying hard to <i>silently</i> do her best. His then teasing hypocritical question forced her into expressing what she politely tried to hide. Her spot-on lip is thus not surprising and her father may have had the same perception of a provocation of a poor innocent girl.
The for them most disturbing behaviour may not have been the nudism <i>an sich</i>: They'd have coped with it and a next time with more ease, would Patrick's testing how far he could go not have made it weird and disgusting. Explained like that to Sarah, she may have gotten second thoughts about a vowed later phone call: What might she say without doing more harm?
When people show signs of uneasiness, tread most carefully.
I don't agree that my question was "teasing hypocritical" in any way.
The very question directed to the girl proved you were well aware of her uneasiness. Most people do not want to publicly explain their unexpressed uneasiness and may reasonably hope that everyone realizes that much about psychology. Having to answer what one wants to avoid getting out, is what is called 'a real challenge' regardless of the intent; if intended it would have been a tease. Asking while knowing the truth is an hypocrisy and in this case not having been able to make a very good guess would have taken a larger dose of naiveness than most people would assume from any person they do not know very well. But I guess that unlike the girl and her father, your friend Sarah was able to predict your here reply. Unlike me, she might know whether you were and are naive or merely pretended to have been so and to pretend to still be so despite my former comment. Real or faked but definitely in play.
I would not point out all that much if you would not have opened an entire blog on the topic that depicts apparently real people in a possibly undeserved for them dishonourable way. And I assume everyone noticed my paraphrased devil's advocating, also continued here, be the plea view correct or not.
You have your opion, I may agree to your rights to hold that opinion without agreeing to the opinion itself.
How sad that even after being informed of the environment he and his daughter were entering, the father led his young daughter into he what he considers an unacceptable situation, or "weird ways, we think you are disgusting" in his words.
He knew ahead of time so I assume he planned a self righteous outburst to impress ???? some one. His daughter gave an honest if rude response. I did wonder what she preferred over a "droopy old willy".
Sorry to hear about what happened. Sounds like a very difficult situation. I can only hope it is resolved.
I must admit, I have sympathy with the girl. I am not convinced that my right to body expression over-rides another's right to feel comfortable when meeting strangers. Have a bit of compassion and pre-empt the situation, people may not communicate well in unfamiliar settings and may not even fully understand that you will be stark bollock naked.
I think that guerilla nudism is unhelpful when we want to encourage tolerance and acceptance
This wasn't a case of guerrilla nudism, Richard. There was advance warning with the family in question. The woman had understood before arriving that the man and his daughter were okay with nudity. Therein lies the problem, not with Patrick.
That does sound unpleasant. Children need to have an opportunity to observe a wide variety of adults of their species so that they learn about themselves and the world of human beings. This young woman obviously had been deprived of that opportunity most of her life and was suddenly confronted with learning about older humans. Her lack of understanding, lack of education, and lack of good manners was very apparent. Its sad that so many children are deprived of the opportunity to learn about their species while they are young, so much so that they are uncomfortable around their own species.