Every person is born wearing a custom-designed body suit. It lasts a lifetime if taken care of by the wearer. It comes in many shades of pink/yellow/olive/red/brown from very very light to very very dark. Every part of every person's suit is made of the same stretchy, renewable material. It is only about 2mm thick. It is very flexible, especially at birth. It is washable and dry-able while being worn. It is very durable and waterproof. It expands as the body grows and when a larger size is needed. It even shrinks back down when the body size decreases. It covers every area of the person's body and follows their shape very closely. The suit usually automatically mends itself when damaged although a mark might be left where the damage occurred. It protects the person wearing it from pathogens. It prevents excessive water loss and gain. It insulates the person inside it, regulates their internal temperature and synthesizes Vitamin D. For most people, it automatically darkens to protect them when in the sun. It has specially shaped openings in it that allow air, liquids and solids to go in or out of the person. The suit has two darker lumps on the person’s breasts. When young, they are very small. The lumps on males stay small and serve no real purpose while the ones on females grow larger when she reaches child-bearing age to allow babies to be fed through them. This incredible suit, though complete at birth, can even be customized to some extent. But many people prefer to leave it as is. It usually requires little care other than being washed and dried occasionally and avoiding exposure to excessive temperatures. It must never be removed. When the birthday suit is not covered by other materials, the person is said to be nude.
54 thoughts on “The Birthday Suit”
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I was going to complain about the wrinkles that formed underneath areas that once held muscles until I realized it is a diy project.
The suit is not waterproof but it is a semi-permeable fabric allowing water and other substances to exit or enter in addition to the previously mentioned holes.
Does any one know what the small filaments growing straight out of the skin are for? The stuff on my head is a kind of cover but all the other ones just seem to keep me wetter than I want to be.
The 'filaments' do more than you would imagine, but it would take a chapter of anatomy and physiology to explain. 🙂
I had both anatomy and physiology in college.That's when I realized I was not going to be a doctor. 🙁
Edited to change decided to realized.
The suit is waterproof in the sense that water does not harm it. In fact, much of it is made of water. Those filaments no longer have any use to me, even the head ones, so I remove most of them.
Breeze detectors/anemometers. The filaments on the back of the neck are creep factor detectors.
Extra sensing devices with a dual performance of adding protections from certain elements. They also aid in distributing the suits built in moisturizing capabilities.
It's also very good for keeping insides from falling out!
Unfortunately, not everyone is happy with the suit they were born in and get alterations done. Sometimes the results are not good.
Mine seems to work well without alterations!
Adjustments to the fit, yes, but I haven't seen any returns yet. 🙂
I lost my receipt…
Actually they are sold "as is", to your parents. T
Thanks to medicine, you can get an exchange for damages (grafts and now even a face transplant!).
The birthday suit is actually free, but the little person wearing it is very expensive.
So true and I like me just the way I am!
The most versatile, longest lasting suit available. Order now and we'll include . . . well, I guess you don't really need two of them.
I certainly hope not.
My only suit that fits perfectly, and it gives me maximum freedom to move in everything I do. And unique is that it colors when I'm in the sun.
Lovely to wear.
…and it is covered with receptors very sensitive to touch…
I forgot about those things. Pretty high-tech don't you think? We didn't even have to buy it.
Lots of standard features!
If it only had a pocket or pouch, it would be perfect.
How that was left out at the planning stage is disgraceful.
I think my suit looks pretty good yet for its age and all that has been through.
Mine has served me well for many decades, but it's starting to get a bit wrinkled and worn. Still, it should last me the rest of my life – quite a bargain!
Don't iron out the wrinkles! They give the suit more character 🙂
My suit is stretched and wrinkled also. Considering it is over 68 years old, I'm not surprised and very happy with it.