I just needed to vent today…
I've been single for a year now, considered myself "single" even when I was living with my last partner, she had a breakdown and I was just a care taker it seemed. Anyway, life has moved on since then.
I recently became reacquainted with a woman I knew back in high school. We both liked each other, but being teens we never said anything. She's also single now and a few similar relationships like mine. We've been talking most everyday for the past few weeks. Planning to get together soon to go birding…yes, she even likes birds.
We were talking about the lack of honesty with our past partners and how difficult that made life. I told her I was honest in the past and that sometimes seemed to cause more problems. People love to run away from reality. She appreciated that outlook…then I told her about my naturist activities. At first she said that was okay with her, but she wouldn't get involved, which I understand, it's not for everyone. Today she decided she couldn't del with me any longer because of my nudity that she now finds disturbing.
I'm sure she talked to friends who "know" all about us perverted naked people and our orgies. I have co-workers that like to tease and taunt me about being a naturist. I just don't get it. I'm the same person, whether they know or not. If I kept this a secret it would blow up eventually, but it still wouldn't change how I feel inside or my heart. I am who I am.
Why can't I just be excepted(oops, accepted!) as I am?
Thanks for letting me get this out.
I can resist everything except temptation. Oscar Wilde
If a female partner is not tempted my nudism, she will never learn the truth about nudism without experiencing it.
Very sad to hear that you experienced this type of rejection David, but not that surprising.
Whenever I start the 'I am a nudist' conversation with someone with whom I am unsure of their reaction, I find it helpful to supplement the conversation with some 'independent' resources. Say what you will about AANR, they do provide some excellent materials related to family oriented social nudity. I find it helpful to pass along one of their monthly Bulletin magazines (which I can now provide in PDF form). This gives my friend the opportunity to learn about nudism in a much broader context than just me wanting to run around without clothes on. It also provides a positive counter point to any biased reporting or judgements from others.
Maybe something like that might prove helpful in this instance, or failing that, the next time.
She seems to understand my point of view, it's just something she can't deal with.
Such a problem most of us 🙁
i sometimes get comments like hope your not naked when people phone me up ,as if it makes a differance
My niece often say's to marketing callers on her phone, "Sorry I can't speak now I'm naked!". It's surprising how many apologise for phoning her & then hang-up! 😀
Reminds me of Homer Simpson answering the phone with "You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel".
I've heard that one as well…always cracks me up. I was sick recently and missed a few days of work. My boss said "I hope you're not naked while you're sick!" Like that would make me heal quicker if I was clothed…
David! Thanks for sharing!
In my opinion our rule is to accept other people the way they are as long their behaviour or lifestyle is not hurting other's feelings.
Your friend don't have to understand you, but she should accept the way you are. If there is a problem with that, and you know about it now you are a lucky man.
We don't talk about tolerance at all. Tolerance in XXI c is mostly addressed to LGBT, religion or race etc.
As a society we are a group of people where everyone is different, everyone has different habits life experience and we should tolerate individuals and their life, their happiness (in my case my naturist lifestyle).
Be happy man! don't let other's discriminate you because of your lifestyle!
Well said Ter, I think you're so right in your viewpoint. More naturists should speak out & get our lifestyle choice more accepted in society.
Thanks Ter. I've always been very open, but overly sensitive to peoples comments and attitudes. Time for me to move on.
Oh I have read your last comment. Sorry for her. But I think you going to get well.
Thanks…life goes on.
Did she see you naked (in naturist activities)?
No.
Here's an update…since I can never leave anything alone, I contacted her again. Now I feel better. She was violently attacked, beaten and raped a number of years ago and still suffers from the trauma of the naked men attacking her.
Things like that will ruin ones life forever and make a future relationship nearly impossible. We've talked and agreed to remain friends.
Thanks for listening…
Well now you know why. A terrible thing for her indeed.
Not that it matters, but I bet they weren't naked.
Probably not, but I can understand her feelings. I was robbed and assaulted a few times as a teen growing up in a bad area of Cleveland during the riots. I still have nightmares and feel very uncomfortable around hand guns.
Sad news but better now than later.
1. Now I understand the Miata. The perfect "now it is time for me to be selfish!" car!
2. For what it is worth, I agree that you are doing the right thing by being upfront about all of your hobbies. It is a shame that it soured this potential relationship this time, but better now than it causing a problem later on when both people are more invested in the relationship; and who knows, maybe later on, at a time convenient to both of you, the naturism may no longer be a deal breaker.
My feeling is that she and others who act this way are very shallow minded. We are better to be true to ourselves then to the likes of them.
I don't blame her. I think the way the media, religions and the government portray nudists is the problem.
Agreed – it's a perception problem, but that doesn't make it less real. We can only work on changing that by maintaining our standards and holding out the truth of naturism whenever possible.
Roger I agree 100% with you. We maintain our lifestyle choices & live just as we want to in our own home. We also talk openly to anyone who wants to hear us about nudity/naturism or just simply living daily naked.
To us the options only begin when we have to put clothes on, what to wear, what is suitable weatherwise etc.
Does she have her own mind? I see all the media and religious and government propaganda as well, yet I know better. She can be blamed for her own decisions if you are going to blame. Of course blame doesn't do as much as accepting who she is and letting go. At least letting go in the sense of a possible mate option.
Thanks for sharing David. Most textiles do not understand naturism as they equate this with sex and sexual arousal. We, naturists, know they are wrong? Should we prove they are wrong? I think we have to try, but let them go if they still do not want to understand. This should not let us to continue being who we are: naturists who enjoy life naked with the company of other like-minded people. Others will continue to tease you, send them to your naturist national federation web site, then let it sink in their brain, or not. I wish you a wonderful naked life!
Thank you Marc.
Having nudist Lifestyle is nothing to be ashamed of ! Lots of people have plenty of toxic or terrible habits, more armful for them or others than enjoying life in the nude ! Enjoy your naked time, and nudist friends ! Take care
I'm definitely not ashamed and do enjoy it.
One little thing I found funny (despite the content of your message) is the last sentence "Why can't I just be excepted as I am?"
Maybe it's a typo, maybe I am being rude, but I really like that sentence. Maybe it is a freudian typo, but it has some truth in it: maybe we want to be recognized as the exception (I am not like all the others) and then be accepted for the way we are exceptions.
It was a typo…I like your take on it though!
Your last sentence, Eveliina, I will copy and print it in a big font!
Wauw, that's an honour! thanks 😛
"…maybe we want to BE recognized…"
(I forgot the word "be".. AH, so any typos… some typos are more useful than others)
Thanks for sharing this. Honesty is valuable and keeping past time activities and ways of living a "secret" is not the best way to start a friendship or a relationship. If you both care to bring this eh.. contact further, you can add some or your experiences to the conversation and give her a more nuanced viewpoint of naturism. She might also have a past or a hobby or a lifestyle that she might not directly share with everyone. Maybe that is why she responds with such a rejection… Ah well, the only way to find out is by asking. If you think it is worth the time and effort.
It upsets me to read this, you deserve much better David.
Boyo…I can pick 'em…
You need just to be true & loyal to your heart, then anyone who is worthy of you will naturally gravitate to you. Don't go seeking 'love' or 'friendship' or any other kind of connection but acquaintances.
The real heart & soul in you is worth treasuring because it's unique, don't allow anyone to water it down with their tainted views!
You folks on the Naktiv site are the best. Thank you so much for your help…
Couldn't have said it better. Be yourself and be honest. Everything will happen when it's time. I've tried to rush things and have ended up with some pretty wicked women. Don't compromise or settle and remain true to yourself.
Unfortunately you were "excepted". Now you need to be "accepted", as you are here.
My track record of picking the wrong people has worn me out…I need to be content with being single.
I hear you.
"It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit". Noël Coward.
Being open about yourself is very much a part of being a naturist. Give it time it has been only a year. A fine naked woman will find you when and where you least expect it. As you well know 'birds of no feathers flock together '
Thanks!
i have now been single since 2004, and even though being single used to bother me, it doesn't anymore. sorry to hear about your bad luck, but being single isn't all that bad, and you still have your naturist friends
I think I'll be content as a single human.
Could have been something good that is now unlikely to happen. On the other hand, if I may stick my neck out, it sounds like it was unlikely to be as good as you hoped based on how you have described her attitude. Anyway, you have been honest and that's right.
I'll always be honest with a person I'm interested in and I hope they'll be honest with me.
I'll stick to myself and the birds from now on…