We hear a lot about sexual harassment of women. There is also sexual harassment going on towards men, believe it or not.
I've been at the sharp end of homosexual advances when I was a child, as a teenager, now that I'm an adult, at work, at the beach, online, etc. etc. It's not just women who have to put up with this kind of predatory behaviour. Naked activities might not seem to everybody to be immediately related to this topic, however I believe they are. The obsession with many puritanical groups with sex and nudity is one of the mainstays behind the idea that people may be sexually harassed if the harassor is attracted in some way to the harassee.
Along the lines of "if you dress like that, what do you expect", and "if you look like that, what do you expect", and so forth. This is why when a woman tars all men with the same sexual predator brush, it's just as offensive as when gays tar all straight men with the same homophobic brush, and so forth. There is no excuse for predatory behaviour, outside of being a predator. Period.
Promoting a more normal view of human nudity, and human interaction, is what the Naktiv site social network is all about, and we'd welcome your input: http://www.naktiv.net/Naktiv site
This is all about respect, and the respect cuts both ways.
Nobody ever harasses me. Which is actually kind of depressing.
Ha ha ha! 😀
There was no fun or novelty, just panic and fear. When you are set upon by a group of people like that it doesn't matter what gender they are it is terrifying, especially when they remove your clothes. You are naked, covered in scratches and extremely vulnerable, it took me a long time to deal with the mental part of it; and with peoples attitude towards it. It would have been completely different if I had been a woman and they had been men.
When I was in my twenties I worked in a factory, I was the only male machinist with about 40 or so females. I hated it! I had previously been in the RAF, these women made military males look like saints. They had the worst potty mouths I have ever heard, they were sexually very aggressive with few if any boundaries. I got to the point of dreading using the gents or staying in the building for breaks because of their actions. The final straw was being stripped, tied up and drawn on with lipsticks and make-up pencils; including places that if I had been female would have resulted in a charge of sexual assault. On that day I handed in my notice and tried to press charges, the police thought it hilarious as did the employer. To me I had spent nearly six months with predatory women, if I had stayed I dread to think to what point it would have escalated to.
Woman are always portrayed as the victims, the weaker sex; as being manipulated by their husbands to commit the offence.
There are sexually predatory women, female paedophiles, and women who commit domestic violence against their children and husbands. They know just as well as any male what is right and what is wrong. Unfortunately it is not the done thing to be the victim of female aggression. When I've shared my experience in the past with other guys their attitude was that it would be every guys dream; it wasn't mine!
Sounds like fun when it happens to someone else, unless you were on the sharp end of it. As you were. And I'm sure any novelty, if there was any, soon wore off in real life. Your story demonstrates how much the "weaker sex" mentality is a societal/cultural construction.
Each of us as thinking, feeling, loving human beings grow from day to day. We either let these experiences shape us by reaction to the event or we guide our growth by action to given situation. Having reacted too more often than not I will think an feel differently to a given circumstance than Richard would if he had learn early on the benefits of action instead of reaction.
One persons harassment is another persons chat up lines, what makes the difference is if the recipient welcomes the advance, or doesn't!
I've been engaged in conversation with gays and women who were quite obviously sounding me out, they generally move on when they realise I'm not interested. I do accept that some sexual predators don't take the hint, that's when it starts to get serious.
I feel that many accusations of harassment are simply annoyance, for it to be truly harassment the victim should feel threatened in some way, their inability to tell the offender to sod off is not a threat.
Many people like being propositioned, some thrive on it and are labelled as flirts, it's a two way street!
By the nature of my job some years ago I had to work in factory departments staffed mainly by women, and yes they can be just as crude as the guys, did I feel harassed? No, but I did feel extremely embarrassed at the time, and in those days any talk of harassment and legal recompense would have been laughed at.
Pete
I was at a beach, again mostly males, one gentleman stopped to say hello. We had a lovely conversation for about an hour. No hitting on, no innuendo. Have I missed something??? ROFL
In a weird twist of fate when I first started out in the online nudist scene I got hit on a great deal by guys.
It was kind of weird to experience firsthand what many women must put up with. It also struck me weird at the time nearly every other person described themselves as bisexual. I truly wondered what the connection between nudism and bisexuality was.
I consequently deleted my profile on what is a somewhat infamous site whose title doesn't accurately reflect it's users.
I've almost been in the situation Bobby has described and agree some women can be worse than men when it comes to sexual induendo. I didn't however feel harassed and comfortably held my own.
So far as coping with these situations go, I think people hold on far too tightly to their egos and allow experiences to define them. I am no more the person I was 2 weeks ago than I am the 10 yo version of myself.
People can clearly see that they're not the toddler they once were, in mind or body. For some reason they can't see they are no longer their former selves. The only remnant is the memory they keep alive.
This is especially the case for Bobby and Richard. Either of you in the same situation with the same experience, understanding etc would think and feel the same way. Having had any experience you become a new person with new knowledge outlook etc.
The one thing I totally disagree with where traditional psychology is concerned is the whole shadow self BS you have no control over. It is in my view BS because you at any moment in time control and determine who and what you are. There are some physiological influences that do program you and your behavior to an extent, but they're not beyond your control once you understand them.
Anyway interesting post, and harassment goes in all directions. Although it may not feel like it at the time, armed with the right knowledge and information, you can actually control those situations. This is not to say you could have at the time, but it is possible to do so.
I was hit on quite a few times by guys when I was on beaches by myself. It did make me wonder though if a lot of homophobia was just the fear that gay men would treat a man the same as a lot of other men treated women.
What an awful spectre! 😉
I think what I take from my experiences, most of all, is the ability to not take everyone so seriously. When people say they're a "true nudist", or when they say they're "gay", or when they say they're "spiritual", or "right", you know there is more to that person than just that simple label. And that none of us are pure as the driven snow, no matter what we like to pretend, or aspire to. So, I try to remind myself to lighten up, just before suggesting to the other person that they could do the same. Doesn't always work though…
Please forgive me. I know you are correct. I felt like I should of made my point. I was 25 then and did not realize how harassed I would later feel. As I wrote I think I must of gotten lost in the better memories of that place and time and neglected to to say how uncomfortable I was
You probably stayed quiet at the time so as not to cause any issues. Just take it as another life lesson.
It is known to happen woman to man as well. I worked 11-7 as a nurses aide. We spent 15minutes an hour making rounds and the other 75% of our shift talking. I was the only man and learned much to my surprise a group of women with a lone male can be cruder,ruder,and more vulgar than any men I've share the reverse situation with. I loved it. Wasn't until years later a nurse friend said I should of sued.
Bobby, this is where I get rather peeved. Why sue when you so obviously enjoyed it?
It never ceases to amaze me how people immediately jump to the option of "suing" Sometimes just moving on is the best solution