Joe Mohdest

Seems like progress is slow… my wife, son and I recently went hiking over a holiday weekend…she’d hadn’t brought a swimsuit and as we hiked 2 hrs along a river, at the end point, we all skinny-dipped before hiking back.  Near the trailhead is a town famous for its hot springs. We booked a soak, and she went topless in the tub, which has one side open to the river.  She is gradually getting used to our son seeing her topless or nude outside of the bathroom or bedroom, i.e other than for activities such as dressing or bathing.  We bought a television and I watch naturism and outdoors shows.  I’m hoping she will watch them on her own; it will have more effect I think if it’s her idea.  Some great Non-sexual naturism shows, as well as resort adverts, and even a few naturist family video blogs, as well as the expected skinny-dippers amongst outdoors enthusiasts.  My son had no reluctance to skinny dip in the river or hot tub.  My wife enjoyed the tub, though it is a few hours drive. I reminded her that I have free access to a tub at some older naturist’s friends’ home nearby, available anytime.  I’m hoping she will join me there this year. It’s difficult to make significant progress with my work taking so much extra family time. I need to schedule a long vacation soon.

Hard to believe it’s been a year since my trip to Spain.  It was full of change: a promotion at work, numerous  week to month long trainings, as well as presentations and recently a successful two month project in another state.  

I have had a number of opportunities to hike nude, skinny dip, or sunbathe nude but no progress on convincing my wife… until this weekend.  We’d been to the textile beach several times and I would remove my swimsuit once in the water and but I couldn’t swim that way for risk of being observed nude, since my body would be parallel to the surface.  But we went on holiday after I returned from out of town and visited Florida.  Spending time together has been great for our family and not surprisingly, for our relationship as a couple. 

I told my wife the other night that for my birthday, I wanted her to visit a nudist resort with me.  She had questions of course, some reluctance, but not totally opposed. I explained how I’ve been nude in the water at the beach and how much fun it was.  We talked about my visits to a nudist resort in the area and where we might go.  This past Sunday, we we went to a textile beach, and she took off her swimsuit in the water and had a great time being nude even while others walked the beach.  Though the water was too dark to see through, she said the waves made it exhilarating and she even was topless with water at waistline after most beachgoers had left.  We talked about hiking nude and what happens when I run into people while naked. I explained most people smile or laugh.  I think she might finally be “coming out of her shell” and beginning to catch the thrill of being nude outdoors.  Next step is for her to experience a nudist club now that she has an open mind and enjoy nude social interaction.  Can’t wait to see her realize how much fun it is! 

Recently had a change in travel plans, and enjoyed a brief trip to Andaluca, Spain with my family. The beaches were warm and beautiful, as was the sightseeing. Food was fresh and overall good (usually last minute choices rather than upscale dining) and the people were very friendly and extremely helpful despite my small grasp of Spanish.

While we stayed at a private, textile beach, we did visit a couple public beaches. While there were topless girls at both, the one was more secluded and at least 3 others (1 male and 1 couple) were nude. I stripped and enjoyed the afternoon clothes-free. My wife had some initial concerns until she saw the couple walk by, and we discussed the relaxed views on nudity in Spain and while she remained in her suit, several times it seemed she was considering removing it.

She also expressed concern about children seeing their parents nude (My young son sees us nude frequently and is asking body questions) and wants to see any studies done by psychologists on the issue. I appreciate any ideas on this; I know it's limited.

At one point I had suggested she try it (she's skinny-dipped with me and my son in private before) and she said she would have to be in a secluded area. I took that as an indication that Costa Natura and its nudist beach was out of the question for this trip, given the short stay. But it was only the second time I had been nude, in front of others while she was present (she knows I hike naked and had also visited a nude beach after hiking, when we lived in California). So she didn't condemn me, just expressed that she doesn't understand the desire to be nude in front of other. And we had a great day, as a family, at the beach, and I got to be nude, so I considered it a great day.

My only hope is that she will learn to enjoy nudism as I do. Not pressuring her, but next steps should be fun. Having recently joined TNS, I am looking forward to giving their materials to her to read and the resulting discussion and/or questions, now that we are back home.

NOTE: A friend requested this. Please feel free to copy, borrow, or suggest changes. Modify it to suit your purposes.

Please do not attribute it to me or the Naktiv site; I have personal reasons for maintaining limited privacy and do not wish to invite unfriendly public scrutiny or potential hackers to the site.

Best wishes for promoting body acceptance and nude recreation!

Title: Petition for Accommodation of Naturism
Target: Local/Regional Legislative Body (Council, Board, etc.)

Petition:
It is well known that the earliest humans existed in the nude. Indeed, all humans are born nude, and many cultures today, both primitive and modern, both sophisticated as well as those more simplistic in nature, appreciate and tolerate the undraped human figure.

Additionally, millions of medical professionals train in their professions to examine the human body in various stages of undress, with a positive outcome on both individual and community health. It is also true that children are not offended by being nude or seeing others nude until taught to feel shame by an older person.

The perceived harm, then, of seeing the nude human body is the fear that such sight will lead to inappropriate acts by the nude person or others. This perception is highly flawed, in that it presumes that people are immune to self-control. It is equivalent to saying one cannot see a diamond displayed in a jewelry store because he/she will be compelled to steal it. If we lived in fear of the relatively few jewel thieves, we would never wear jewelry. To mandate that the human body be always hidden under garments is like requiring gems to be covered by bandages. Bad acts of a few should not restrict freedom of the rest of society, or even a smaller portion.

There are those then, who choose to take offense at seeing another unclothed person. Since humans naturally procreate, largely undressed, birth and bathe their undressed children, it is proof that simply seeing another nude human body causes no harm. Society tolerates much that some deem offensive but which causes no real injury. This is the essence of liberty and freedom of expression.

Naturists believe that clothes are often useful, such as a work uniform, or even necessary, such as for protection from the elements. Naturists also believe that there is nothing inherently wrong with the human body, but rather that every human body is unique and beautiful in its own right, and each person's complete mind, body and soul has dignity. To cast shame on the body is to deny self-worth.

Nudism has been demonstrated to provide mental health benefits, such as relaxation, reduced stress, body acceptance, and can promote physical health and hygiene as well. Naturists enjoy the sensation of enjoying the natural environment much like anyone does while swimming or sunning, except that their experience is not interrupted by a fabric barrier. They simply wear their skin suit rather than a swimsuit. Just like everyone else, they wear clothes when appropriate and they don't tolerate inappropriate behavior. They respect others just as they request the same.

Since nudism has many benefits, and no real harm, we, the undersigned, respectfully request that designate as clothing optional or nudist area, for the benefit and enjoyment of nude recreation. All other laws and ordinances remain applicable.

Signed,

ALTERNATIVE ENDING: Since nudism has many benefits, and no real harm, we, the undersigned, respectfully request that amend* ordinance to allow for the benefit and enjoyment of nude recreation at . All other laws and ordinances remain applicable.

*2nd ALTERNATIVE: repeal ordinance prohibiting nude recreation. All other laws and ordinances remain applicable.

In part one, I listed some motivations of human behavior. In part two, I wrote about my wife's reluctance to social nudity but her participation in secluded, outdoor nudity.

I drew the two together by suggesting that my best approximate of success in getting her to try naturism is through an emotional appeal, i.e. to her sense of fun and humor than by cold logic or pressure (pressure. of course being counter-productive).

I feel it is worth noting a few more examples. Her first outdoor event where she stripped nude was on a small boat(just us and our young son) in California. I was taking pictures of her and telling her how beautiful she is, and suggested she strip, and to my surprise, she did, and she posed for the camera. After the trip, she stunned me by saying she wanted me to strip also…if only she had told me on the boat!

We are often nude at home, including around our son but she less so than myself outside of task nudity. She is more apt to dress him but he is allowed to run nude/partly so at times.

I have also been successful at getting her to strip while on long trips in the car. I start by massaging her shoulders with my free hand (the other on the wheel), and progressively remove clothing to better massage her. It takes a relatively long trip, a good mood and some gentle teasing, etc, but I've gotten her to strip numerous times, for varying distances, usually at night but occasionally during daytime. 🙂

That said, recently we went camping, and on two separate days she skinny-dipped and posed nude for me to take pictures of her while in secluded locations. By her reaction, I am quite sure she enjoyed the skinny-dipping although she is likely to refrain from admitting how much in order to avoid me getting further ideas. :).

I believe she is more comfortable being nude outdoors than she used to be; the challenge is that there are so few areas where it is safe/legal to be nude outdoors, which is pretty much private nudist campgrounds/clubs/etc.

Going from secluded nudity to social nudity is a big hurdle at this point. Obviously the progress will continue to be slow and patience is a continued requirement. Just posting this to give hope to others with reluctant partners and perhaps to get some ideas on bridging the gap between secluded and social nudism. I so want to be clothes-free, naturally in an environment where it is safe, relaxed, and to have my family with me!

In Part One I discussed various drivers of human behavior (not a complete list for sure!).

My wife is highly intelligent, hard working and accomplished. Having overcome numerous obstacles to get where she is today is proof of her tenacity and intelligence. What she is not (yet) is a nudist.

We all know the stigma which textiled society puts on nudism, and we can all relate to textiles who succumb to social pressure and internalize societal values. My wife is no exception, yet in the past three years she has made progress on the issue.

She has told me that she will never be a nudist, and is only nude in private, and refusing to read or listen to pro nudist arguments. I have found then, that to motivate her to try nudist activity, I must appeal to her emotional side.

While in California, she accompanied me on hikes and visits to beaches where I had researched were either secluded or c/o activity was somewhat tolerated(see CA law/Cahill policy for details). Certain parts of CA are more tolerant than others; ours less so than SF Bay area or Black's beach near San Diego.

There I could convince her to strip for photographs (for only personal use) but usually not for long as she would quickly cover when others approached at a distance. She also accompanied me on a day trip to a nudist campground once (after much coaxing on my part). She only went nude on the trails there, and reacted with scorn to the suggestion of going to the pool.

Yet just before we moved away, she went with me to a c/o beach with a nudist section, and would have tried it if the beach had had toilet facilities, but with Mother Nature calling, we had to leave. She did let our toddler son play nude for a few minutes that day.

Each person acts based on a variety of factors; we are creatures of habit, enjoying the ease of routine and the relative safety of previous outcomes. We also like change, to break up the monotony of the too familiar. In approaching a new activity, we weigh likely outcomes (risk vs reward) based on past most comparable experience or the perspective of others' related experience. Some people are more spontaneous and others more calculated, but spontaneity can be a result of rapid logical decision making(I.e. seeing an opportunity and seizing the moment). Emotions driven by circumstance however can dramatically change the probability of engaging in an activity.

Some suggest that women are more emotional than men. I am not so sure. I know incredibly gifted women who utilize logic to solve highly complex challenges on a routine basis. I know men who are very spontaneous and live in the moment, reacting emotionally to external and internal stimuli. I often do the latter myself, and I attribute that more to my artistic temperament than to my gender.

When we act on how we feel and refuse to consider (listen to/read) carefully constructed logical rationale for changing our behavior, we can be said to be acting more emotionally. Compared to a sibling, spouse, etc we can be said to have an emotional nature more so than a methodical one.

Hence, the relationship dynamic with my wife… 😉

A short time ago I had an unpleasant encounter while hiking nude. It was in a secluded area of forest where I believe nudity is technically legal, and where I had hiked before without running into anyone, once I left the main trail.

This night I was returning after dark, and I decided to turn off my flashlight and walk back down the main trail by starlight. Bad decision. I walked right into a small group on a guided night hike.

They must have been seeking nocturnal animals as they had no lights on and weren't talking when I walked into them. I jumped off the walkway and went around but one turned on a light and well, of course the forest ranger leading the hike pursued me and things got worse from there.

The ranger suggested that I could be arrested for lewdity, ran a check on my ID for criminal record and did a good job of humiliating me. I was doing nothing lewd, of course, just hiking nude by myself, but I wasn't going to argue the law with him. I apologized for interrupting his hike and was as cooperative/polite as possible.

While he eventually let me go on my way with a warning not to be nude there (I wonder how does one pee/poop/bathe in the forest without genitalia being exposed?), I certainly won't return.

The remaining concern was that my employer has certain law enforcement authority over employees, and I was worried that they might hear of the incident and pursue punitive action under broad if vague claim. As a result, I felt compelled to delete my Naktiv siteaccount and any links to nudism, and only recently reactivated it.

I intended to offend no one, and while I believe that I broke no law, it was a very unpleasant experience and caused me a great deal of anxiety. God forbid the ranger or lawmakers have to have medical procedures done. They wouldn't want the doctors and nurses to see their body and be offended. When will the human anatomy in its natural state not be treated as criminal?

Since then, I visited a nudist camp (private property, 2 hours away) and after paying the US $45 day-use fee, had a wonderful time running the trails and sunning with others by the pool. It just seems a shame when it's so difficult to enjoy nature in a natural state. Why are so many people so afraid of the human body??? Anyway, if you read this, I would appreciate a friend request, as I lost my connections by deactivating my Naktiv siteaccount, and I greatly miss my clear-headed nudist friends. 🙂